In the scriptures, we read: And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. I believe that. But I also believe that we have a Father in Heaven that knows what is better for us than maybe we know, believe or want for ourselves. Does this mean that this scripture isn't true? It doesn't say, ask in prayer believing, and ye shall receive if I think it is best for you. (italics added with a little sarcasm). I think it means, we will at some point have an understanding, or be given the peace that comes from forgiveness, or the talents when the time is right.
I have petitioned the Lord many times for relief, understanding, to be healed from the cross I bear. And I have asked a lot, I have pleaded, tried to bargain, begged and even tried getting mad. Still the cross is there.
This big heavy cross I carry is making me tired. So tired that at times, I cannot get out of bed. It sometimes casts such a shadow that it is nearly impossible to see the Son (sun). These are the days that I pray for this to be over. One way or the other.
Relief comes on occasion. I notice not such a heavy load. I seem stronger. An answer to prayer in the form of added strength or a load lightened. If only for a minute. To give me time to catch my breathe.
“Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a ‘healing’ cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are ‘healed’ by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.” Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “He Heals the Heavy Laden,” Ensign, Nov. 2006, 7–8.
We all have challenges, struggles and trials. Some come and go, some linger, some are difficult and some a quick to leave their mark. Some people wear their burdens well, others do not. But they are there.
I know that this journey that I am on right now, is a refiners fire for me. I am either going to come out stronger and let the blessings of the atonement work in my life, or it will consume me. I am confident that my father knows what is going on with me. He has sent and will send, people along my way to lighten the load. I believe that he prepared me as best a father could; as I prepared to leave is side to come to earth. I cannot imagine him not sitting down with me and providing counsel and instruction as I headed out to my first day at "School". A father's blessing was given, a hug and a wave good-bye as I began my earthly journey. We both knew it would be hard. And I agreed to come.
Now the work is at hand. I must figure out how to endure, recover and rebound. Slowly, ever so slowly I am remembering, and learning what needs to be done. I am rediscovering who I was and who I want to be. How this will strengthen me.
I believe all things, I will hope for all things, I have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, I will seek after these things.
I know that this journey that I am on right now, is a refiners fire for me. I am either going to come out stronger and let the blessings of the atonement work in my life, or it will consume me. I am confident that my father knows what is going on with me. He has sent and will send, people along my way to lighten the load. I believe that he prepared me as best a father could; as I prepared to leave is side to come to earth. I cannot imagine him not sitting down with me and providing counsel and instruction as I headed out to my first day at "School". A father's blessing was given, a hug and a wave good-bye as I began my earthly journey. We both knew it would be hard. And I agreed to come.
Now the work is at hand. I must figure out how to endure, recover and rebound. Slowly, ever so slowly I am remembering, and learning what needs to be done. I am rediscovering who I was and who I want to be. How this will strengthen me.
I believe all things, I will hope for all things, I have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, I will seek after these things.
