Spring has sprung! The trees and flowers are blooming, the grass is greening up, and new life is coming about. Spring is one of my most favorite times of the year. I love the energy that comes from this new season.
I feel a bit like Spring-time. I feel a change taking place within myself. If you will, I too feel like I am blooming.
From an emotional standpoint, I am feeling strong and confident. I haven't had a "down" day for quiet a while. Each day seems to be overpowered by goodness. Dark clouds have become fleeting. All is well.
I have had some difficult things happen over the last couple weeks. Things I am struggling with, trying to make sense of them, and struggling to make them fit. Mom has decided to try from a relationship standpoint. Most would be happy with the effort, I, however; am left feeling perplexed. I want to believe that this time her effort will be sincere, and that I will be able to trust and rely on her. Doesn't every little girl want a momma that they can lean on, laugh with and love? I so desperatly want this. But experience tells me differently. So I struggle with how to allow her the room to make things different, but to protect myself from hurt and harm. I have lately been praying for the strength to do our Father's will. But that is so much easier to say than to actually turn over and let happen.
I am trying. Trying to love her, trying to forgive her, trying to let her be my mom.
